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The Unspoken Language: How Body Language Shapes Your Connection

You can say all the right words, but if your body language communicates something different, your message will be lost. We are constantly sending and receiving non-verbal signals. Becoming more aware of this unspoken language can dramatically improve the quality of your interactions and deepen your connection.

By Carla McGowan

7/3/20251 min read

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What Your Body is Saying

Consider the signals you might be sending unconsciously during a conversation:

Crossed Arms: Can signal defensiveness, resistance, or being closed off.
Lack of Eye Contact: May suggest disinterest, shame, or dishonesty.
Eye-Rolling: A universal sign of contempt and disrespect. This is a major relationship killer.
Tense Posture: Clenched fists, a tight jaw, or rigid shoulders all communicate stress and anger.
Turning Away: Physically turning your body away from your partner signals a desire to disengage or escape.

Cultivating Positive Body Language

To create an atmosphere of safety and connection, practice open and engaged body language:

The "LUV" Stance: When listening, adopt a stance of Listen, Understand, Validate. Turn towards your partner, uncross your arms, and lean in slightly to show you are engaged.
Make Eye Contact: Maintain soft, gentle eye contact to show you are present and attentive.
Nodding: A simple nod communicates, "I'm listening," and "I hear you."
Mirroring: Subtly matching your partner's posture can build rapport and a sense of being on the same page.
Offer a Gentle Touch: If appropriate for the situation, a gentle touch on the arm or hand can be incredibly reassuring and communicate care and support.

Pay attention to the alignment between your words and your body. When both are saying, "I care about you and I'm here with you," you build a foundation of trust that can weather any storm.